(In British accent)
"1. To commence packing of worldly possessions,
or, in other words, 'one's lock, stock, and barrel',
begin with a good supply of sturdy cardboard boxes.
Locks are unnecessary, stocks are unreliable,
and barrels are last century."
"2. Make intelligible and intelligent marks
on each side of each box. This allows
your state-of-the-art movers to understand
your ideology without even asking your opinion.
For example "B. Room box 45" really has nothing
to do with brooms, and there is no place for
'D'ing Room box 5' in any house this side of the ocean.
Unless, of course, you really do have a Ding room
in your house plans.
Use the biggest and blackest markers you can find,
and go to town with the printing on the boxes.
Do refrain from making artistic designs, however,
as these can be a distraction, and you really aren't
going to frame it and hang it, now are you?"
"3. Write 'storage' or 'keep' on each box,
and since the mind is not to be trusted,
write detailed notes on accessible paper.
Use a tape gun to seal your boxes. Beats cutting
tape with scissors any day."
"4. Your garage should be promoted to
'cardboard warehouse', and filled accordingly.
Let your vehicles stay out in the rain,
you get a free car wash.
Once the move is completed, feed your movers
and thank them gushingly. You'll be glad you did."
